Home & Family Life – This is an interesting one for me. I have had the different experiences of living with friends (at Uni and after), living with girlfriends (and sometimes friends together) and living with a wife and children. Of course each has its own place and natural fit on life’s linear path but without a doubt I have never been more content than when I was living with my wife and children.
It’s a little bit of a paradox really! My home life back then was actually quite demanding and strained, not least because of the pressures of a broken marriage! Never-the-less I was content. Even at the moments where things started to go downhill. Strange isn’t it?! I wasn’t happy with other things, but the family unit, having children around and being part of that family unit gave me something that I hadn’t experienced before. It’s just a shame that the marriage failed and it all fell apart. I never got to experience the whole adventure. I look around at some of my friends and see how their family has been shaped over the years and I feel a sense of wanting. It isn’t overpowering but in my heart I would like to have that chance once again.
Despite what I just said, I am conscious that these types of life events may or may not happen. Of course you can put yourself in situations where you are more likely to find a partner and of course you can try to match yourself with a partner that is like minded and feels the same way about the home and family as you do, but that doesn’t guarantee that it will happen. Even if (I will even dare to say, when) I meet someone I fall in love with again, it doesn’t mean that this will lead to having more children and if it does that doesn’t necessarily mean I will be content in the same way as I was before.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am open to a number of different outcomes. There is no reason why I cannot be content with a completely different set of scenarios. Just because I haven’t experienced them yet doesn’t mean that they aren’t out there.
At present I live alone, meet girls and live a semblance of what might be described as a bachelor type of lifestyle. Right now I am happy with this.
I don’t see nearly half as much of my children as I would like to but I am hopeful this will change in the future. I won’t go into details but I believe I am doing everything I can to make this happen. I don’t want to hark on back to the family unit but there is something special about having children around. I believe they are one of the most rewarding things you can have in life. If having more children does not form part of my future life then that is ok. I will always have the children I have right now and they will always be a strong part of my family vision whatever happens to me. That much is for certain.
If I think about how my ‘home life’ would look I guess this would ultimately depend on whom I was sharing it with. Right now I live alone and currently enjoy spending time at home just kicking back and relaxing or doing what-ever. I have friends that spend a lot of time at home and rarely go out. This isn’t me. I think I currently have and would continue to want to have a balance between doing things at home and getting out and about, whether that’s socialising, traveling or otherwise.
I believe strongly in the benefits of having unbreakable family ties outside of the immediate family. I have a brother who I consider one of my best friends and who I trust completely. On the other hand I have other family members who I tolerate simply because they are family! The old cliche of blood is thicker than water is true and I am on the fence as to whether or not it should be. Regardless of this I see a future where family continue to be as important as much as they are important to me right now. I guess I could go one step further and include future in-laws into the equation. That’s great, bring them in. I just hope I will get on with them I guess and not see them as being some kind of a chore.